The Art of the Female Wing

Over the weekend, I accompanied Homegirl to a party in Brooklyn. Said party was filled with beautiful, and quite interesting people. It was a good time. But let me just share a few things as I made my through this crowd handsome strangers.

Since Homegirl was busy with an Aussie, I, of course, in good natured ease went from awkward guest to tipsy long-lost-friend to all (and eventually slightly confused and hungry stranger again.) It was like having ten to twenty one night stands with more small talk and less sex. It was nice while it lasted.

So in retrospect this is what I can impart if you find yourself a stranger in strange land (but hopefully at least with good music).

Tip #1 :Remember, you have nothing to lose.

Honestly, you don’t know these bitches and unless they’re offering you annual raises they are no one to impress. Be yourself and offer yourself as easily as you are amazing.

Tip #2: Embrace the awkward.

This shit is only as bad as you make it. get outta your own head.

Tip #3: 3 parts gin, 1 part ginger

probably the only thing you can do to make things more awkward than they already are is if your hands are flopping around empty handed like you don’t know shit from shit. you’re at a party, it’s mandatory.

Tip #4: Laugh at EVERYTHING.

everybody wants to be a hit. let them be.

Tip #5: If you’re hungry, eat some damn bread.

And if someone tries to take that away from you (in my case LITERALLY), get the the fuck outta there. someone has had enough.

Tip #6: Make sure you have an exit strategy.

This could be in the form of knowing where your nearest subway station is/car company phone number, or a man. I hope with all hope it’s the latter.

[p.s. this is probably the best photo and everything that i want to feel this winter in nyc.]